Jealousy and insecurity
Challenges and coping methods in polyamorous systems
Every relationship comes with challenges, and in polyamorous systems, the complexity of emotions can be even more powerful. In this chapter, we will dive into the intricacies of dealing with challenging emotions such as jealousy, anxiety and insecurity.
Imagine Ruthi, struggling happily for the new relationship of Yair, her partner. Although she sees the happiness that Yair radiates, jealousy and rejection towards her new partner overwhelm her. This jealousy arouses deep concerns regarding her self-worth and the stability of her relationship with Yair.
In such situations, it is easy to get caught up in a destructive cycle of self-criticism, blaming, attempts at control and restrictions - all of which can exacerbate the situation.
Instead, we will offer alternative approaches based on self-recognition and acceptance. We will present practical exercises to identify the roots of jealousy, to separate self-identity from external factors and to build solid confidence and self-worth. Also, we will focus on honest and open communication methods, which allows respectful disclosure of the needs and concerns of all involved.
The challenges are deep, but instead of succumbing to suffering or struggling with them, you can grow through them. This process contains an opportunity to create healthier and more inclusive relationships, for a deeper understanding of ourselves and others, and for spiritual and personal development. The answers are not found outside, but in our inner strength to accept the challenges and discover the complete truth within us.
01
Jealousy: a theory
Jealousy Management Theory is a principles-based approach to treating jealous feelings and the thoughts that cause them in polyamorous relationships. It is a systematic approach that encourages self-awareness, emotional management and transparency in communication, instead of suppressing or denying feelings of jealousy.
02
Jealousy management skill is the practice and application of principles and insights from jealousy management theory in polyamorous relationships. This is an essential skill alongside flexibility, honesty and constructive communication for the success of this type of relationship.
03
When your partner tries something new
In the polyamorous world, people often encounter unique barriers and challenges related to perceptions, expectations, and mindsets that monogamous friends do not. These barriers can be both internal and external.
04
Comparisons
Being compared to another person by your partner can be a very hurtful and painful experience in polyamorous relationships. This may trigger feelings of insecurity, jealousy and fear that you are not "good enough". It is important to understand that such comparisons often result from a lack of understanding or irrational thoughts of the partner, and do not necessarily represent the truth.
